Moment-By-Moment Decisions To Reach For Grace On A Bad Day

Can I be honest with you and tell you that some days life is hard? Some days I wake up thinking my day is going to go one way and instead it goes a completely different way. For a person that likes to be in charge, who likes to plan, and know exactly what to expect for the day ahead, that's not always easy. On days like that, days like today, I have to constantly remind myself that a bad day does NOT equal a bad life. Please tell me I'm not the only person that feels this way.

Today was one of those days. I fully expected the day to turn out one way and from the very beginning it headed in a different direction.  Today was a day where my overly active girly emotions threatened to take over multiple times (for a rather stupid reason I might add)  and I had to fight hard to keep them in check. Today was a day where I had to make a conscious effort all day long not to get irritated with those around me. I had to make a choice not to be cranky and upset by every little thing and at times it was hard.

Today was what I like to call a moment-by-moment day. One of those days where I have to ask for God's grace and peace moment-by-moment. Can I tell you how thankful I am that He offers that unfathomable grace and peace to me?

I am so very undeserving of the grace that God gives me. There is NOTHING I will ever be able to do to deserve it but for some reason, He is always there, always offering it to me.  Days when I feel like things are falling apart, He is there holding it all together in His hands. Colossians 1:17 tells us this-

"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

I'm so thankful that the creator of the universe holds all things together in His hands so we don't have to. In my head I know this truth, I know in those moments where chaos sets in, He is whispering for me to let go, to trust that He's got it. Yet it seems like a lesson I'm constantly having to learn over and over again.

When I look back over the last several months, I see God's teaching of this very lesson in my life. I hear His voice calling out for me to let go of the situation, trusting fully that He is in control and He is holding all things together.

I think in life however, it's hard for us to do that at times. At least it is for me. We live in a society that is driven my selfishness. Everything around us is geared towards making us happy, making sure we get exactly what we want, making sure everything is smooth sailing. And that's not reality. We have become so consumed with our own personal happiness and making sure everything in life goes exactly according to our plans, we have taken the reins back from the only one who has walked the path before us.

We often decide we know better than He does and we often take a short cut just to avoid what appears to be a rocky road ahead. What I find so often in my own life is this- when I try to hold it all together, when I try to map out the route, that's when things fall apart. That’s when a bad day begins to look like a bad life, and those overly active girly emotions begin to pop up again.

The fact of the matter is this- there will ALWAYS be bad days in life. There will ALWAYS be trials and struggles. And God will ALWAYS be there, offering his grace and peace for the moment. I don't think we will ever get to a place in this life where we don't face those bad days. It's a product of a fallen world. I think so often we think that a life in Christ is without struggle, without bad days. And that's simply not the case.

Does God like to see His people suffer? No. Does God allow us to stay in tough situations at times? Yes. But He doesn't do it because he gets enjoyment out of our hardship. He doesn't do it because he likes to see us squirm or because he likes to watch us fight back emotions all day. I think sometimes He allows us to remain in those situations, he allows the apparent bad days to happen because it reinforces our need of Him.

He didn't put us on this earth so we had to figure everything out and do everything on our own.  We are His creation and as such, He wants us to find our strength in Him. He wants to pour out that grace over our lives so that we can be victorious over the situations of our bad days. It's why He sent his son to die for us. Knowing that I don't have to figure it all out on my own, that I don't have to be in charge and that I don't have to hold all things together should be a balm for my wounded spirit on those bad days. Psalm 29:11 tells us-

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."

I firmly believe that in EVERY situation in our lives, God is there pouring out His grace, His peace, His love, and His strength. At some point, we must decide to relinquish control and reach out and take what He is offering. It's a concept that seems so simple, yet on days like today, it often becomes a moment-by-moment decision. And that's ok.

I like to think that one day, I'll welcome the "bad days" of life with a smile on my face knowing that at the end of it,

I'll be closer to the savior than when I started, having reached out and taken hold of His strength and peace with every breath I took.

He is certainly there offering it to each of us. And we each have a choice to make. In every situation, we must choose whether to allow a bad day to seem like a bad life, or to reach out and find the strength that we need, moment-by-moment drawing close to the Savior who's holding all things together.

There will be moments when I fail to reach out and take hold of the strength and grace He is offering. Days when I lose my cool and make a bad situation worse but God will still be right there waiting. Waiting to remind me that His mercies are new every morning and that He has the grace I need moment-by-moment. I just have to decide to take it. 

Why Singleness Doesn't Define Who I Am Anymore.

I've been single for a long time. And for a long time I've hated that label. Single. It's a word that at times is like nails on a chalkboard to my ears and at other times it's a word that passes like a spring breeze. Regardless of how the word makes me feel on any given day, it’s a word that defines my life  right now.  Or at least that's what I've thought for a long time.

The truth is, being single does NOT define who I am. It is a label that others have put on me, that society has put on me, and that I've put on myself. But it doesn't define me. It doesn't change who God created me to be, it doesn't change how much he loves me, and it doesn't change what he says about me. Simple as that. Why is it so hard to remember that?

For a long time, I've allowed that label to define who I am and how I see myself. I've bought into the lie that being 25 and single is who I am. I've seen myself as the single one, the one who doesn't fit in with this group or that group, the one that everyone's judging because I'm not married...do I need to go on?

What I've been learning is that singleness is a chapter and not a label. And it's a chapter that, for the first time in a long time, I can say I'm ok living in.  We all go through chapters of life, some that we enjoy, some that we don't. In each of those chapters, two things hold true: 1) God has a unique set of plans for each of us that can only be accomplished in that chapter, 2) Satan wants to leave us miserable and ineffective where we are.

It's easy for me to say this to other people, it's harder for me to know it (and believe it) in my own life. But I've begun to realize over the last few weeks that God has given me a unique set of circumstances and opportunities that are only available in a chapter of singleness. God has blessed me immensely in allowing me to work with an incredible group of girls in the youth group. They keep me on my toes and they provide constant accountability in making sure I'm living out through actions what I'm teaching them in words.

The more I work with them, the more I realize how different my influence on them would be if I wasn't single during this chapter of life. Being married comes with its own unique circumstances, challenges, and time commitments. I don't have a lot of those time commitments right now because I am single. That allows me more time and freedom to pour into these girls that God has placed in my life. Having those time commitments certainly isn't a bad thing, they're just different than the chapter I'm in right now, just like being married comes with different time commitments than those a married couple with young kids has .

I didn't always see this chapter as a blessing or something that I wanted to continue living in. For a long time, I allowed Satan to leave me miserable and ineffective in this chapter. There were a lot of days that I woke up miserable and unhappy in this chapter, constantly wondering WHY God had me here.  Why did I have to be 25 and single? Why was everyone around me married, or engaged, or having babies?  Why? Why? Why? There were days that I completely ignored the blessings of God in my life simply because I chose to allow a circumstance to become a label that defined who I was instead of living in the chapter God had me in.

I'm learning to take it a day at a time and I'm learning to see this chapter as a blessing and an opportunity. Do I still want to be in a relationship? Yes. Do I still anxiously await the day that this chapter of singleness is over? Yes definitely. But what I want more than that is to live where God has me right now. To be effective , to live out the plans that God has for me here, where he has me today. I want to be an example to the girls that God has placed in my life. I want them to know that its OK to be single. It's ok to embrace this chapter of life and to understand that God has unique plans for them that they can only accomplish where he has them today.

And it's not just true for them. It's true for each and every one of us. I don't know what chapter of life God has you in right now. I don’t know if you're loving it or hating it. What I do know is that God has you there for a reason. He wants to use you where he has you planted. Some days, that might not be easy but believe me, he wants to see you accomplish those plans in HIS strength. He doesn't ask you to do it alone, I promise. He is right there with you, waiting for you to turn to him, to embrace the full life that he has for you, and to stop allowing a chapter to become a label.

The thing about chapters is this- they always have an ending. Some chapters are much longer than others but the pages continue to turn, life continues to move forward, and chapters end. At times we experience happiness at the end of chapters, other times we experience sorrow.  I don’t know how long God will have you in this chapter, I don't know how long he will have me in this chapter of singleness. But I trust him. I trust that he will lead when I have no idea what direction to walk. I trust that he will use me where he has me planted if I allow myself to focus on him. I know that he is a good God. He is a God that loved me enough to send his son to die on a cross for me and I know that he doesn't withhold any good thing from His children. Sometimes the circumstances of a chapter may cause me to question this, but it does not change who God is.

There will be days that it's not easy in this chapter, days that I certainly don't enjoy it, but I will trust God. I trust that as long as he has me in this chapter, he will have a plan for me here. I don't have to do it alone, I don’t have to figure it all out. And I certainly don't have to allow circumstances or chapters to become labels that make me question who God says I am. You don’t have to either!

I'm begging you sweet friends, know this- God says that YOU ARE HIS. He loves you and he knows you. He created you and he knows the number of hairs on your head. Never once did he intend for a chapter to become a label that defines who you are. That is a lie from Satan. You are His. He will ask you to walk through countless chapters of life as you take steps toward eternity with him but never once will he say that those chapters define who you are. Don't forget that, don't let the circumstances of your day make you question the plans he has for you. No matter how long the chapter,  You are His.

Grace And Forgiveness In A Body Of Believers.

*Let me start with a disclaimer...this post is for me. It's something I'm dealing with and learning in my own life right now. If you read it and at any point think, "she's talking about me," I'm not. If God uses something I say to speak to you, that's Him not me.  I'm also talking about relationships WITHIN the body of Christ here. I'm NOT talking about relationships with unbelievers, I believe those are different and at times, there has to a separation from those relationships, I believe we are called to live differently with believers. Now that we're all clear on that point...here we go.

Do you know that relationships are hard? Do you know that sometimes I struggle with seeing people through God's eyes instead of my imperfect sinful eyes? Do you know that there are people that I have a hard time getting along with or even caring about at times for a number of different reasons? Do you know that sometimes I fail miserably at loving people like I've been called to? Do you know that I want to be different, that I want to change all those short comings and be a person that loves the way God created her to love?

The older I get, the more I realize that we are all extremely imperfect people. We all fail, we all make mistakes, we all mess up and hurt people around us at times. And sometimes we forget that we're called to love despite the failures.  Sometimes the ones we hurt are those closest to us. Sometimes they're our brothers and sisters in Christ, they are the body of Christ and unfortunately at times, they're the people we hurt the worst. What I'm learning (or maybe just being reminded of) is this...division in the body does not glorify God.

I often wonder why there's so much division and hurt between the people of God at times. I wonder why the very people who claim to be different, who claim to be reflections of Christ spend more time hurting each other than they do living out the love of the gospel. And the only answer I can come up with is this- there is division between believers because as believers, we are failing to live out the very foundation of the gospel- grace and forgiveness.

If there's one thing I know for sure it’s this, I am a sinner who did not and will not ever deserve the grace and forgiveness that God gave me when he sent his son to die on the cross. But for some reason, defying all logic and human understanding, he chose to send his son anyway. And it wasn't just for me. It was for me, it was for you, it was for every single person that will ever have breath in their lungs.

When I chose to be a follower of Christ, when I made that decision to accept the sacrifice that was made for me, I made a decision to live differently. I made a decision to work each day to look more and more like Christ to those around me. Do I fail? Frequently. Will I ever have it all together and be where I should be? Never in this life. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't do everything I can to live differently.

I think one of the biggest steps I have to take to live a life that reflects God, is to love his people the way he loves me. I have to be willing to offer grace and forgiveness to those around me, even when I don't think they deserve it. If I don't love my brothers and sisters in Christ how on earth will I EVER reflect the love of God to a lost and dying world that  doesn’t know him? The truth is I won't. If the body of Christ is fighting against itself it's completely incapable of carrying out the great commission to carry the gospel to the ends of the earth. End of story.

If I'm being honest with you, I can say this, there are people that I don't necessarily like. There are people that I think have done things that are unforgivable and there are people that I think my life's better without. There are people that have said things against me, people who have ignored me, people that have done things to deliberately hurt or undermine me, but what God's been teaching me now for months is this...regardless of what those people have done, no one has crucified me on a cross for my sins. Nothing that anyone has done to me, or will ever do to me, comes close to the crucifixion Jesus faced, and somehow he still managed to offer grace and forgiveness to a group of people that would never deserve it. 

I think that's what it really comes down to. Jesus got what he didn’t deserve. He took the punishment for my sins when he didn’t have to. That’s a sacrifice and a gift of grace and forgiveness that I base my entire foundation of faith and my life on. But somewhere along the way, I started acting like that grace and forgiveness was only for me. I've treated members of the body like they didn't deserve that same grace and forgiveness, simply because I wasn’t living a life that reflects the Savior.

God has used recent situations and strained relationships to teach me just how far off I am and how much work I still have to do. I have heard him whisper, "This does not glorify me." I know in the depths of who I am that division in the body does not reflect the life God called us to. Never once did Jesus tell us we could offer grace and forgiveness to the people we felt deserved it. Yet when I choose to withhold grace and forgiveness, I allow satan to have a foothold in the body. I allow him to win. I allow him to leave me broken and ineffective. That's what he wants. He wants me to live continually   focusing on my hurt and he wants to leave me weary and unsure of relationships with anyone. 

When I allow hate, anger, resentment, hard feelings, etc. to grow between myself and other believers, I  look no different from the world. I also leave unbelievers wondering why they would even want  what I have. Why would anyone want to be a part of something that tears down and hurts its own members?

Let me say it again, nothing about division between believers glorifies God. When there is unforgivness in the body, it stands in direct opposition to the truth of the gospel. It destroys lives and it leaves people hurting. Is it a problem that will ever be completely resolved? I don't think so. In theory, it would be easy. We would all get along, we would all build each other up, we would all live out the command to love our neighbor as ourselves and we would all function as a unified body of believers reflecting Christ love. But I'm afraid that will never be complete realty.

As much as we may strive to reach that goal, we are all still sinners. By our very nature, we will never be able to completely reflect Christ in his perfect sinless nature. We will always fail. There will always be times when I hurt people around me and when they hurt me. But that’s where grace comes in. At some point I have to be willing to offer forgiveness even when people don't deserve it.  I've got to start somewhere. I've got to start trying to be different. I've got to start seeing people through God's eyes, especially fellow believers, and I've got to start letting people off the hook for hurts.

I know that won't be easy. Please don’t think I'm saying it will. I know that at times, grace and forgiveness will be the last thing on my mind but I truly honestly feel that it is never in God's plan for there to be division among believers.  Yes there will be times when I don't see eye to eye with people. Yes, there will be times when people have to hold me accountable for my actions and I don't like it. Yes there will be times when I have to distance myself from people, but I think God's ultimate goal is always restoration of relationships within the body so that HE might be glorified and reflected to a lost and dying world.

Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not saying we have to have a close relationship with every person, I don’t think that's what God is calling us to. Jesus surrounded himself with a small group of people and I think it's important that we each have a close circle of people in our lives that pour into us and hold us accountable for our actions. But while living in and doing life with that close circle, I think we also have to be willing to have relationships with other believers, living in a unified body that says, "I forgive you no matter what."

Because ultimately that's what Jesus said. He placed himself on a cross and he said, "even though you won't ever deserve this, I'm still choosing to offer my grace and forgiveness. " I know there are relationships in my life that need restoration. I know that there are believers that God is calling me to "let off the hook" for wrongs. I know it and I want to do it. It is not easy, and sometimes it goes against every part of my nature. But at some point, I have to decide that living in a unified body of believers that reflects the grace and forgiveness of Christ while carrying the gospel to a lost and dying world is more important than my own personal feelings. And sometimes that's hard because of my own selfishness...and that's a topic for another post. 

One Year Later.

A year ago my life changed forever. A year ago, what seemed to be a normal evening turned into a night that I will never forget, not because of anything I did, but because we serve a God who has mighty plans and who chooses to use his people where he has them planted.

 

A year ago, I was at a candidate forum to support my grandpa who was running for a second term as county commissioner. I was back at the community center in my hometown and had jokingly made the comment to my mom about the "joys" of living close to home again and being able to attend events like this.

 

Several minutes into the forum, a gentleman went into cardiac arrest. In those first few seconds, it takes your brain some time to realize what's happening. People quickly began yelling for a doctor or nurse but it didn't appear that there were any in the room. One thing that sticks out in my mind about those first few moments is the look my mom gave me. It was a look that said "you have to do something" with no words at all.

 

And that's where God began to work. If you know anything about me, you know I'm a physical therapist. My daily job duties don't typically include emergency situations but by the grace of God I had learned CPR in PT School.

 

I honestly don't remember deciding to get up and help, as soon as I saw my mom's look, my body was already moving. I soon realized, beginning CPR was the only option in the situation and despite the fear running through my body, somehow that training took over.

 

Thankfully the volunteer fire department arrived on the scene after what seemed like hours of CPR  and had the gentleman talking before he left for the hospital.

 

I don't like to tell this story very often because I don't like the attention that it sometimes brings. I wanted to share it on the blog with you all today for a few reasons 1) because you have so graciously allowed me to be open and honest without fear of judgement since beginning this blog and most importantly 2) I wanted to share with you what GOD did that night.

 

You see, God didn't leave me to initiate CPR on my own until the fire department arrived. As he so often does for us, he provided me with two other people right there with me, to carry the load, and to help perform the CPR. Those two people, Katie and Ken played as much of a role in that night as I did and I will never be able to thank them enough for what they did to help.

 

Isn't that amazing? One of the most beautiful things about this life is that God doesn't require us to go at it alone. He ALWAYS places people in our lives at the exact right moment to carry the burden and ease the load. He definitely did that for me that night and has continued to work out a new friendship with Katie these last few months. In something that started so horribly, God has brought a rich blessing of friendship to my life. 

 

God also equipped me with the tools I would need that night. Several months before the candidate forum, the community center had purchased and AED. I am convinced that without that machine, the night would have had a much different ending. Aren't you glad that God provides us with the tools we need for each and every situation we will face in life? Ephesians 6 tells us of the full armor of God. I'm so glad that I don't have to go out into battle empty handed.

 

Looking back another thing I've realized about that night is that God had been preparing me for that exact moment long before I had to start CPR that night. Not only had I taken CPR in PT school, but miraculously that training had come back to me in that moment.

I also looked back over the verses I had read in the days and weeks leading up to that night, and I again saw God's provision in equipping me for one of the most terrifying situations of my life through his own words of strength and provision.

 

Psalm 73:21-24- Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. With Your counsel You will guide me, and afterward receive me in glory (Read 1/23/14)

 

Psalm 116:5-9- Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; Yes our God is compassionate. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and he saved me. Return to your rest, oh my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. I shall walk before the Lord knows the land of the living. (Read 1/25/14)

 

Isaiah 40:13- For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, who says to you, do not fear, I will help you.

 

And then, as if God hadn't already done enough in providing help, providing the tools needed, and preparing me in advance, he went ahead and outdid himself by allowing me the opportunity the next day to meet and get to know the man He had saved that night. When I think back on that night, that's the part that brings me to tears. That's the part that brings me to my knees and causes me to realize how unworthy I am and how good God is. He definitely didn't have to do that, but that's what he does ladies and gentlemen. He is that good, he gives us what we don't deserve, he showers blessings that are beyond what we can comprehend and he uses us in unlikely situations.

 

Like I said earlier, I don't tell this story a lot, mostly because I don't want it to be an example or a story about what I did. I want it to be a story about what God did. And what he wants to do in each of our lives. I know that sometimes the story doesn't always play out like it did that night, people don't always make it but what is true is that God is ALWAYS good. He is ALWAYS in control and he is ALWAYS working.

 

If you don't remember anything else I've said, please remember that. Remember that God is ALWAYS working and he wants to use you where you are. He created you to live a full life and he created you with a purpose that only YOU can fulfill. Don't forget that. Don't let fear or doubt rob you of what God wants to do in and through you in that situation.

 

He is a good and faithful God, I know that for sure. I know that when the situation seems impossible, when life and death are at the door, he is there. He is there, providing the provision for you in the moment, never leaving you or forsaking you, or expecting you to figure it out on your own.

 

I don't know what you're dealing with in your life today and I don't know what God's calling you too, but I do know that He loves you and he wants to use you. He is ready to walk hand in hand with you into whatever situation is before you. Keep your chin up and remember, he just might lead you into a situation that changes your whole life.

 

365 Days And An Unlikely Situation.

I've taken a few weeks off from the blog to enjoy vacation with my best friend and Christmas and New Years with my wonderful family!! It's been a great time of relaxing with friends and family, celebrating God's blessing, reflecting on this past year, and preparing for the new year ahead.

 

I love this time of year and the excitement and anticipation of a new year. It's 365 new days. 365 days worth of life to live. 365 stories to write. I've heard people say time and time again, "a lot can happen in a year." The last few years of my life have been evident of that. Bottom line- God's done a lot in my life these last few years and I can't wait to see what this year holds.

 

Do you get as excited as I do about a new year? Are you anxious at what lies ahead?

 

What I'm convinced of is this- God has big plans. In a world where chaos appears to reign, God is still King. He is a Sovereign God and he continue to work even when we are unable to see it.

 

And for reasons sometimes unknown to me, he wants to use us. For some reason, God wants to use me. Me.  The sinner. And come December 31, 2015 I want to look back on this year knowing that I walked in the path God had for me, that I lived a surrendered life open to his work, and that I was a blessing to those around me.

 

As I began to think of the things I wanted to accomplish this year, the changes I wanted to make, the things I wanted to cut out, the one thing that I came back to time and time again was that I want to be a blessing to every single patient and person that I come into contact with and that I want God to use me.

 

During Sunday school this past week we talked about God using Ezra to lead a group of priests, Levites, singers, and others back to Jerusalem. While Ezra came from a long lineage of priests and he was definitely qualified to share the Word of God, the task ahead wasn’t easy. The people had been in exile for many years and there was a desperate need to reestablish proper worship as the people returned to Jerusalem.

 

What I love about this story however is that the king sent Ezra to lead this group through months of travel with endless amounts of gold and treasures. What the King didn't send was an army or troops to protect the people or the treasure as they made their way home.

 

But in all His goodness, all His working, God used a scribe to transport all that treasure and lead those people safely back to Jerusalem out of exile. A scribe. Not a great warrior. Not a solider. A scribe. An unlikely leader but one that would have a definite impact on the history of God's people.

 

If you're like me, that plants hope in the depths of your life. If God chooses to use a scribe in such an unlikely situation, he can and will use you and I if we allow ourselves to be open to his plans.

 

I don't know what unlikely situations God will put each of us in this year, but I'm convinced that if we allow Him to work in our lives, if we follow His teaching, if we live out his word, he will use us.

 

Will you be open to it? Will you allow Him to work in your life? Will you allow Him to use you in 2015 no matter how unlikely the situation? Please know that  with everything I have, I'm praying you will. 

Four Things I've Learned About Life and The Gospel From Six Teenage Girls.

Its funny how life works out. For so long in college, I felt the  desire to lead a middle school/high school girls bible study. I never seemed to be in a position in college where that bible study worked out but here I am back at the church I grew up in and God has so firmly planted me in the middle of an amazing, AMAZING, group of girls that I get to do life with. From my Sunday night bible study to the Sunday school class I've had the pleasure of co-teaching this year, I feel so incredibly humbled and blessed that God chose me to get to have even a small part of these girls lives.

This past Friday night, we had a sleepover at my house for our Sunday school class. I always get really excited about these events and then last minute I go into panic mode over having teenage girls at my house. I'm telling you, some days 25 really catches up with me! But, the blessings that those six girls have brought to my life this year are too numerous to count.  I went to bed Friday night listening to the sweet sound of laughter and renditions of Taylor Swift songs coming from my living room. I woke up Saturday morning knowing that friendships had been strengthened and developed through lots of laughter Friday night and I was overwhelmed by the blessing God gave me in allowing me to witness it first hand.

 

The older I get, the more time I spend with these girls, the more I realize what a responsibility it is to be a positive influence in their lives. I constantly find myself thinking, "I can't tell the girls to do this if I'm not willing to do it myself." But what I've realized over the past few weeks is that I learn as much, if not more, from them every day than they ever do from me.  They've taught me so many things this year and its hard to narrow them down but here's 4 things they've taught me over the past few months:

1) Our actions and investment in others' lives often speaks louder than our words:

These girls have taught me that some times people need to know that you care about them and love them more than anything else.  What I've learned from these girls is that often it’s the investment of time that someone makes in our lives that makes the biggest impact. I've had the opportunity the past few months to pick one of my six girls up before bible study on Sunday nights and I don't think she'll ever know how much those car rides together mean to me. Whether she's telling me about some boy at school or I'm taking her with me to buy milk and dog food, I so deeply cherish that time together simply because it gives us time to laugh and be ourselves. She knows I care about her and I know she cares about me. Spending time with these girls and watching them on Friday night at the sleepover has taught me that some of God's biggest blessings in our lives come in the form of friendships we never even saw coming. God places people in our lives every single day. We each have a responsibility and will be held accountable in regards to how we handle those people in our lives. Sometimes people have to know we're willing to invest time in things they care about before they will ever listen to the words coming out of our mouths. If you want to make an impact in someone's life, start investing time there. Don't just expect them to listen to what you have to say if you aren't willing to let them know how much you care.

2) God created us each in our own unique way and when we live in that, we works so wonderfully together

If you look at each of these six girls you see six EXTREMELY different personalities but when you put them all together, you see a beautiful tapestry of lives that God has woven together. The six of them are a beautiful remind to me of the body of Christ. Just like the six of them, we each have unique talents, goals, dreams, and gifts that God has enabled us with and when we use them to glorify him, the richness of blessing that overflows creates a ripple effect on those around us. These girls love each other and they paint the perfect picture to each of us that fellowship in a body changes everyone's life in a positive way. It allows the uniqueness we each have to come out and it allows us  to be the people God created us to be, no fear of judgment, no fear of rejection, just people living in the full life God has promised.

3) We don't have to live in drama, we can overcome it and we can move past it

As with any group of teenage girls I've ever met, there's always drama at some point. Lets be honest, with any group of women I've ever met, there's drama at some point. But what these girls have taught me through all the drama of life is that 1) it's bound to happen at some point, 2) it doesn't have to consume you or define who you are, 3)If a 13-year-old girl can forgive her "mean girl" and move past drama, as a 25-year-old I can too. I feel like at some point in the year I've seen each of these girls deal with different situations of drama in their lives and I've seen them come out stronger because of it. I've seen them set aside their own feelings of hurt, disappointment, and anger and I've seen them take steps to make amends even when it was the last thing they wanted to do. I've seen them be real and honest about their feelings and I've seen them take a deep breath, trust in God's plan, and begin to make changes in their lives to let go of the hurt and drama. In those situations, they have challenged me more than I ever wanted to be challenged. They've caused me to look at situations in my own life and because of it I feel like I'm learning more and more every day to let go of the hurt, anger, bitterness, and resentment and walk in a unified body of believers building each other up instead of tearing each other down. What I've realized about myself is that I'm a selfish person and sometimes, a lot of times, I don't want to let go of the hurt/drama in my life. Sometimes I choose to stay in drama which it the total opposite of what God has called me to. This year I saw these girls write letters of forgiveness to mean girls in their lives and I've seen them live that out. If they can do it, we can to. Sometimes it take a simple reminder that it's not about us and more about who God is in us.

4) When trust is broken we have to look back at the one who will NEVER betray our trust

This morning in Sunday school, we had a hard conversation on trust. We talked about the hurt that comes when someone betrays our trust and how it's often hard to let our guard down to others once we feel like we've been betrayed. We talked about the importance of having trustworthy people in our lives and we talked about the qualities that make someone trustworthy. We talked about the importance of knowing someone in order to trust them. But what we also talked about is that sometimes, even when it's hard, we have to let go of the hurt that comes from broken trust. We talked about the importance of being an example of God's love instead of seeking revenge or further hurt on the one that we can no longer trust.  These girls want to live like this. I see it on their faces and I hear it in their comments. They want to be different from their classmates and they want to live and love people like God commands us to. They want to show unconditional love even when it isn't easy and they make me want to live like that. The only way to do that is to be secure in our faith and trust in the one who died for us. In order to do that, it's vital we know the character of God and the love he has for us. It's vital that we look at the sacrifices He made for us and the unconditional love he pours out when we really don't deserve it. When we take our eyes off ourselves and look at little higher, we begin to trust in the one who made us and the hurt doesn't seem as strong.

I sit here today, so overwhelmed and blessed by God allowing me to know these girls. As I said before, I've learned more from them then they've probably ever learned from me. They make me want to be a better person and they remind me that God uses each of us to touch and impact lives, regardless of our age.  I pray with everything I have that I can continue to be a positive influence in their lives. I pray that our little family that's grown this year can continue to grow and impact lives around us. I pray that when one falls, the rest are there to help their sister up. And I pray that they always always always know that no matter where they go, they are loved and they are making positive changes in lives around them. God has created each of them to be uniquely them, and I am convinced that he has big things in store for their lives. I look forward to watching how he uses them and I look forward to the things that they continue to teach me as we walk through life together.   Just like God wants to use each of these teenage girls, He wants to use YOU too. I pray that you know people love you enough to invest time in your life. I pray that you see the unique gifts God has enabled you with to impact others lives. I pray that past/present/future drama would not define who you are or leave you bitter and broken. And most importantly, I pray that through it all you would know the one who will NEVER disappoint or betray your trust. May that leave a resounding hope and joy in your life that overflows in all you do. 

Somewhere along the journey from brokenness to healing.

What I see all around me is brokenness. Broken hearts, broken lives, broken families, broken dreams, broken futures…the list could go on forever. I see girls who are 14 and broken, 21 and broken, 42 and broken. Brokenness doesn't discriminate. It finds you wherever you are and often when you least expect it. It's a lie that the enemy uses to keep us beat down and hurting in the situations of life. But praise God there is healing in the brokenness. 

After quickly jotting down those words in a journal of mine back in August, I tossed them aside not sure what to add. This often happens with half thoughts that I can't seem to build on when trying to write a blog post. In August, I didn't know how important those words would be to me in December. I didn't know the extent of brokenness that would be present in my life or the lives of those around me right now.

When I woke up this morning and rushed off to work in the all too familiar "it's Monday" irritation, I didn't know that God would bring those words back to me tonight as I shared my brokenness with a close friend.

But that's the thing about God, He works on His timeline and not ours. Just like the brokenness that sets in when we least expect it, sometimes the healing begins in the same way. 

I work in a career where I deal with physical brokenness, pain, and limited function ever single day. Much like my patients, we  often want a quick fix of the problems in life. We want something to fix the pain and brokenness we feel and we want it done now. Just like my patients, we all at some point realize that isn't always reality. We realize that the brokenness that occurred in seconds leaves wounds and scars that don't quickly fade from our bodies or our memories. But that doesn't mean there can't be healing. That doesn't mean the scars have to stay forever or that the tenderness we feel in those moments today have to cause the same hurt tomorrow.

Please know this-  Jesus is the healer of the broken. He is the one saying, "take my yoke upon you for my burden is light." He is the one saying, "I don't care about your circumstances or your brokenness.  I don't care about where you've been or what you've done, I want to bring healing to your heart and life right now."  Aren't you so glad that's what God says? Aren't you so glad that he doesn't want to leave us in our brokenness? Aren't you so glad that he wants to see healing in the broken spaces of our lives and that he wants to take those broken pieces of pottery and put them back together into the beautiful vessel he created us to be? I know I am.

I know that I can't possibly overcome the broken places in my life on my own. Believe me, I've tried. I know that when I try to fix the brokenness on my own, it's often like a bandaid patch on a leaky damn. It's always a temporary fix and often causes more damage as the pressure builds and bursts through like an overwhelming flood.

When I wrote the notes on this topic several months ago, I scribbled down Naomi's name on the page. If ever there was someone who God brought healing in the midst of her circumstances, it was Naomi. But what strikes me about Naomi's story, is that her healing didn't come right away. It also didn't come without a journey back to her home.

By all earthly standards, Naomi was a broken woman. She had lost her husband and her two sons and she was living in a country that wasn't her home. She certainly didn't hide the fact that she felt God's hand had come against her. But Naomi didn't stay in Moab. She didn't stay in the place of her brokenness. Unsure of what the future would hold for her, she set out for the land of her people where she heard God had provided food. For whatever reason, Naomi took the first step towards healing of her brokenness when she set out for Judah,  whether she knew it or not.

So often, God is calling us, urging us, leading us, to make the first step on the journey to finding healing for our brokenness. What I've learned is that He very rarely removes those broken pieces in one fail swoop. Much like Naomi, we often have to walk along the journey from brokenness to healing, no matter how scary or how uncertain. God is often calling us to begin that journey sooner than we ever thought we'd be ready.

If you're like me, you make up every excuse to start the journey. If you're like me, you're often too scared of the brokenness that may lie somewhere on your path to healing. I think about Naomi and I'm glad she didn't stop half way on her journey. I'm glad that she was able to put aside the fears, insecurities, and lies of brokenness in her life. I'm glad she didn't let the fear of gossiping church ladies keep her from making the journey home to find healing for her brokenness. Aren't you?

God used Naomi's brokenness to bring Boaz as the kinsman redeemer for Ruth and Naomi. He was also apart of the lineage of Christ. Had Naomi chosen to stop half way along the journey to healing, the story today would be a lot different.

Friends, God doesn't want us to stop half way on our  journey to healing either. The road from brokenness to healing isn't always going to be easy but He wants us to trust in His plan, knowing that He is working all things for our good. I can't guarantee you that there won't be mud puddles the size of Texas somewhere alone the journey. I can't promise you that old wounds won't be opened again. But what I can promise is that there is a God that loves you enough to keep calling you home in the midst of your brokenness.  There is a God that wants to take the scars and hurts you have in life and cover them up with the His nail pierced hands. You see, those scars on His hands might be the most beautiful picture of healing we ever see. It was those scars that made a way for us to find healing in our brokenness. It was those scars that defeated death and the grave. It was those scars that reconcile all men to the Father through relationship with Him. It's those scars that bring the ultimate healing of the ultimate brokenness of sin in your lives. Aren't you glad Jesus didn't stop  halfway on His journey of brokenness to the cross?

Wherever you are, don't give up now. Don't give in to the brokenness and don't let it keep you from starting the journey to healing. Don't forget that Jesus walked the ultimate road of brokenness so that YOU might find ultimate healing in Him. He cares about where you are right now. He cares about the pain and hurt in your eyes and he cares enough to light the journey towards healing.

Let's step out together friends. Let's begin the journey towards healing. Let's live as the redeemed. Let's live in the glory of God and let's live knowing that as sons and daughters of the King of kings, we are free from the  brokenness and invited to experience healing. Don't stop half way on the journey. Don't fear what may lie ahead. Lift up your eyes and see the one who already walked the road before you. He is waiting to walk the road towards freedom and healing with you right now if you will take the first step on the journey.