What Physical Therapy, Chalkboards, and Headbands All Have In Common.

If you're wondering what physical therapy, chalkboards, and headbands all have in common, the answer is absolutely nothing. Except for the fact that all three are important in my life right now.

I know it sounds weird to say headbands and chalkboards are important in my life.  It sounds weird, even to me. But what I've begun to realize is that God puts things in our lives to enjoy and to use to bring Him glory.

It just so happens that God's using those three things, no matter how different they each are, to teach me about the beauty in the passions He places in our lives, big or small.

As I was telling someone today, physical therapy has been what I wanted to do as a career since I can remember. As a freshman in high school, I had an ankle injury in basketball that required therapy and I remember telling my own PT at the time that I wanted to do physical therapy when I graduated. I have absolutely no idea where my first exposure to the field came from, but looking back I'm certain that desire came straight from the Lord.

In May I will have been out of PT school for two years and practicing at a job that I love for that same amount of time. Somedays I still catch myself thinking, "Is this really my life? How did I get so lucky to have a career that I love so much?" The truth is, luck had nothing to do with it.

I put in a lot of hard work, dedication, tears and laughter to reach my dream of being a PT and now I'm getting to live that out as my daily reality. But no matter how much hard work I put in, I couldn't have done it without the strength of a God who had plans bigger than I could imagine.

Long before I even really understood it, he was writing that dream, that passion on my heart and He was using circumstances and people in my life to prepare me to live out that dream today. In the two years that I've been practicing, I've met countless people and I've had the unique opportunity to be a part of each of my patients lives as they work towards healing in whatever form is appropriate. Sometimes being there, being such a vital role in the process is overwhelming and often brings tears and laughter, but even with the trials and heartaches at times, it's worth it to be living out something I love so much.

Sometimes I meet a patient that catches me totally by surprise for one reason or another and it's in those moments that I know God has me where he wants me. And that alone makes getting up and going to work every day worth it.

Now you're probably thinking, where do the chalkboards and headbands come  in? And I'm about to tell you. During my three years of PT school, there was little time for anything besides studying and there certainly wasn’t time for a hobby. At least not for me. Those three years seemed to drag on forever; when I wasn't in class, I was studying, and when I wasn't studying, I was in class.

Now I'm two years out of PT school, and there are still times I catch myself thinking there's something I need to be doing, something I need to be working on, or studying for. I'm always overjoyed when I realize there isn't. But once I finally grasped the concept of being out of school, I quickly realized I needed something to do to occupy my time.

Pinterest alone is a great time waster but it also gave me plenty of ideas for projects to tackle. And maybe somewhere in there I got the idea to start making chalkboard signs. The first one I made was for my niece's birthday, it was a huge hit (as big a hit as a chalkboard at a 1-year-olds birthday party can be) and the rest is sort of history. "Dirt Road Designs" was born,the headbands recently followed and I've ended up with this little side business that I absolutely love.

Whether it's the chalkboard signs, the headbands, or refinishing an old piece of furniture, I've realized that I absolutely love the creating process. And even more than that, I love presenting someone with something that's unique and special to them. I've always said I show love through giving gifts, it's one of my favorite things to do, and this allows me to do that on a regular basis.

Quite simply put,God has used headbands and chalkboards to instill a new passion in my life right now for creating pieces that are important to those receiving them. When I look at those two things in the whole grand scheme of life, headbands and chalkboards mean absolutely nothing but God has taught me that He can create blessings even in the little things. That's what these chalkboards and headbands have become for me. If I can brighten one person's day with a sign or even a headband then I did what I set out to do.

Now I say all of that to say this to you- whatever your passions, big OR small, live them out. Pursue them wholeheartedly and trust God that if he laid those passions on your life, He will be faithful to use those.

God can use absolutely anything to bring himself glory. He can use physical therapy or he can use a chalkboard sign and he works through different things in each of our lives at different seasons. That's what makes us each unique and that's what makes life fun and interesting.

I think we live in a society today that begs for every person to fit in, to look like everyone else, dress like everyone else, act like everyone else. And that's a boring life if you ask me. God created each of us to be unique with our own passions and loves that are important to accomplishing His will, in our lives and others. Don't be afraid to live that out and to be different. The God of the universe created you to be you and no one else can live out the job he gave you.

Take some time today and look at your life, look at your passions, look at those things God has placed in your life. Then go out and pursue them. No matter how big or small they seem to you, God can and will use them. It may be in the most unexpected way, but if God gave you those passions, then he has a plan to use them in your life for His glory. So share your passions with those around you every chance you get! You never know when it might be a blessing someone needed

There Are Certain People In My Life And I Don't Understand Why.

Let me start by saying- I have seriously been slacking on the blog since the beginning of the year. I don't really have a good answer as to why but I can say the past few weeks/months have been weird for me. There's not any particular reason that stands out in my mind except that I've kind of felt these past few weeks  that I've been trying to figure out who I am. Weird I know. I'm almost 26 and 95% of the time I feel very confident in who I am as a person and what I want out of life. I've jokingly told my family recently I'm going through a "25-year-old" rebellion. Some of you are probably thinking that's true considering the three new tattoos in the past 6ish weeks. I honestly don't know what it is, but it's caught me off guard and it's caused me to slack off in some areas of life, the blog being one of those areas. Or it could just be the fact that I've started a side business making chalkboards that's kept me so distracted but whatever it is, I want to be more focused on this blog. I want to continue to be open and honest, sharing my heart and the work God is doing in my life as he leads.

I made a couple of goals this year (I'm not calling them resolutions), one was to be intentional with everyone I came into contact with, one was to do my hair for work more often. I'll be honest. I've been a lot more successful with the latter.  I'm trying with the first goal, but let me tell you...It's only March and I've failed far more times than I'd like to count. As I discussed with someone earlier tonight, God created us to be relational people. He did not create us to go through this life without anyone else, if that was his plan He would never have created Eve for Adam.

There are so many different people in my life right now. Whether it's friends, church, family, or work, there are numerous people in and out of my life on a daily basis. I work in a job where I come into contact with numerous people daily. Depending on the setting, I can spend a few days, or a few months getting to know my patients through their therapy. Whether it's at work or somewhere else, my goal is the same- to be intentional and to take every opportunity God gives me with someone in my life.

I feel so strongly that every person we come into contact with is in our lives for a specific reason set by God. What I've found is that sometimes, I really struggle with understanding why God puts THOSE people in my life. That was one of the reasons I made it a goal to live more intentionally in my relationships with people this year. Because I truly believe God puts them in our lives for a reason. Maybe it's for a short period of time, maybe it's for a lifetime. Sometimes, God also brings unexpected people back into our lives years down the road for a new reason. Obviously it varies depending on the person and purpose God has. 

Let me tell you- sometimes I'm very thankful for the people God puts in my life. Sometimes I'm not. I sincerely hope that I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not the only one who's seriously questioned why God would put a certain someone in my life. Right?  I think it's natural for us to always want to know the reason why. You would think at 25 I'd understand that there are a lot of things where I'll never know the answer behind the "why." But today, right now, it's something that I still struggle with.  And more recently, it's been a struggle understanding why certain people are in my life at certain seasons of life and other people aren't.

I can look back on my life and think of three very specific people that I know God put in my life for a very specific reason at a very specific time. And I can tell you that out of those three, I know the reason (or as much of the reason as I can understand) for ONE of those people being in my life.  I've cried out to God more times with the other two than I can ever count, trying to understand the why, and He is yet to reveal that to me.

What I'm learning through this is that it's ok not to know the why. God has taught me recently that sometimes, my striving, my attempt at working things out only gets in the way. And sometimes that’s why I don't need to know the why. You see, I am a type A personality person all the way. I like to plan things out. I like to know exactly what the problem is so I can come up with a solution to fix it, even if it's someone else's problem. And I like to be in charge. Guess what, God reminds me pretty frequently that my striving to fix things on my own only causes more problems.

Sometimes my only option is to accept that fact that God has placed these people in my life at a certain time and that there's nothing I can do but give that relationship to him, trusting his working. In the moments recently where my heart has cried out for understanding God has so graciously shown me that sometimes he wants nothing more from me than intercession for the people in my life. Sometimes there's nothing I can physically do or say to fix the problem or the situation but I can ALWAYS go to throne of God lifting that person up to him.

I know that's the first thing I should do. But it isn't always my first thought. But God has so sweetly taught me recently what an amazing blessing and opportunity it is to lift someone up in prayer to the God of the universe. The only one that can change the situation and the very one who put the person in my path in the first place.  As I think about the most recent of those three people in my life, I see how much God has used that person to teach me this lesson. There have been things in that person's life that I can do absolutely nothing about. Yet God in all his infinite wisdom has burdened my heart for this person and has woken me up about eight times in the middle of the night at 3 am sharp with a pressing need to lift this person up in prayer. I know that may sound weird, it's even weird for me to say it. But it's true.

The first few times it happened, I really didn't think any thing about it. But as it continued to happen again and again, distinctly at the same time every night, I began to realize just how much God was teaching me to trust His plan for this person. He began to change my heart for the person and He began to show me what a gift it is to be able to intercede for the people he's placed in my life.

As the weeks went on recently I began to experience some guilt, thinking that I had missed an opportunity to live out and to be an example of Christ to this person. Did I miss out on opportunities with that person, most likely yes. It's hard to admit that but in that guilt, God brought those 3 am wake-ups back and reminded me that He continues to work even when I fail. Praise God, His work does not stop because of my lack of faithfulness. What I've also realized recently is this- as much as I care about the people God brings into my life, as much as I want to fix their problems or help in certain ways, God cares about them so much more. They are His creation and the love that He has for them, like the love He has for me, is something I'll never truly be able to comprehend.

I don't know the people that God has in your life today. I don't know if they are the stranger that you pass at the grocery store to never see again, if they are a family member, or if they are a dear friend. I don't know if you're thankful for them in your life, or if you are crying out to God wondering why on earth that person continues to be in your life. What I do know is this- there is no one in your life today that God does not intend to be there. I don’t know why and you might not ever know that either. But please remember that there is a God that is working all things together for good. He may ask you to step up and physically help that person in the situation they are currently in. He may ask you to give a gentle smile and "Hello" that completely changes a life. He may also ask you to daily bring that person to His throne in pray at 3 am for the next two weeks.

Whatever it is that he's asking you to do, understand and know that He did not create you to go through this life alone and that he wants you to be intentional with the people that he puts before you. That is not always easy but I'm learning that no matter how long or short someone's time is in my life, there is always a reason, even when I don’t understand it and I will trust (hopefully a little more each day) that God is working and that He will be glorified through my interactions with His people. 

Moment-By-Moment Decisions To Reach For Grace On A Bad Day

Can I be honest with you and tell you that some days life is hard? Some days I wake up thinking my day is going to go one way and instead it goes a completely different way. For a person that likes to be in charge, who likes to plan, and know exactly what to expect for the day ahead, that's not always easy. On days like that, days like today, I have to constantly remind myself that a bad day does NOT equal a bad life. Please tell me I'm not the only person that feels this way.

Today was one of those days. I fully expected the day to turn out one way and from the very beginning it headed in a different direction.  Today was a day where my overly active girly emotions threatened to take over multiple times (for a rather stupid reason I might add)  and I had to fight hard to keep them in check. Today was a day where I had to make a conscious effort all day long not to get irritated with those around me. I had to make a choice not to be cranky and upset by every little thing and at times it was hard.

Today was what I like to call a moment-by-moment day. One of those days where I have to ask for God's grace and peace moment-by-moment. Can I tell you how thankful I am that He offers that unfathomable grace and peace to me?

I am so very undeserving of the grace that God gives me. There is NOTHING I will ever be able to do to deserve it but for some reason, He is always there, always offering it to me.  Days when I feel like things are falling apart, He is there holding it all together in His hands. Colossians 1:17 tells us this-

"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

I'm so thankful that the creator of the universe holds all things together in His hands so we don't have to. In my head I know this truth, I know in those moments where chaos sets in, He is whispering for me to let go, to trust that He's got it. Yet it seems like a lesson I'm constantly having to learn over and over again.

When I look back over the last several months, I see God's teaching of this very lesson in my life. I hear His voice calling out for me to let go of the situation, trusting fully that He is in control and He is holding all things together.

I think in life however, it's hard for us to do that at times. At least it is for me. We live in a society that is driven my selfishness. Everything around us is geared towards making us happy, making sure we get exactly what we want, making sure everything is smooth sailing. And that's not reality. We have become so consumed with our own personal happiness and making sure everything in life goes exactly according to our plans, we have taken the reins back from the only one who has walked the path before us.

We often decide we know better than He does and we often take a short cut just to avoid what appears to be a rocky road ahead. What I find so often in my own life is this- when I try to hold it all together, when I try to map out the route, that's when things fall apart. That’s when a bad day begins to look like a bad life, and those overly active girly emotions begin to pop up again.

The fact of the matter is this- there will ALWAYS be bad days in life. There will ALWAYS be trials and struggles. And God will ALWAYS be there, offering his grace and peace for the moment. I don't think we will ever get to a place in this life where we don't face those bad days. It's a product of a fallen world. I think so often we think that a life in Christ is without struggle, without bad days. And that's simply not the case.

Does God like to see His people suffer? No. Does God allow us to stay in tough situations at times? Yes. But He doesn't do it because he gets enjoyment out of our hardship. He doesn't do it because he likes to see us squirm or because he likes to watch us fight back emotions all day. I think sometimes He allows us to remain in those situations, he allows the apparent bad days to happen because it reinforces our need of Him.

He didn't put us on this earth so we had to figure everything out and do everything on our own.  We are His creation and as such, He wants us to find our strength in Him. He wants to pour out that grace over our lives so that we can be victorious over the situations of our bad days. It's why He sent his son to die for us. Knowing that I don't have to figure it all out on my own, that I don't have to be in charge and that I don't have to hold all things together should be a balm for my wounded spirit on those bad days. Psalm 29:11 tells us-

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."

I firmly believe that in EVERY situation in our lives, God is there pouring out His grace, His peace, His love, and His strength. At some point, we must decide to relinquish control and reach out and take what He is offering. It's a concept that seems so simple, yet on days like today, it often becomes a moment-by-moment decision. And that's ok.

I like to think that one day, I'll welcome the "bad days" of life with a smile on my face knowing that at the end of it,

I'll be closer to the savior than when I started, having reached out and taken hold of His strength and peace with every breath I took.

He is certainly there offering it to each of us. And we each have a choice to make. In every situation, we must choose whether to allow a bad day to seem like a bad life, or to reach out and find the strength that we need, moment-by-moment drawing close to the Savior who's holding all things together.

There will be moments when I fail to reach out and take hold of the strength and grace He is offering. Days when I lose my cool and make a bad situation worse but God will still be right there waiting. Waiting to remind me that His mercies are new every morning and that He has the grace I need moment-by-moment. I just have to decide to take it. 

Why Singleness Doesn't Define Who I Am Anymore.

I've been single for a long time. And for a long time I've hated that label. Single. It's a word that at times is like nails on a chalkboard to my ears and at other times it's a word that passes like a spring breeze. Regardless of how the word makes me feel on any given day, it’s a word that defines my life  right now.  Or at least that's what I've thought for a long time.

The truth is, being single does NOT define who I am. It is a label that others have put on me, that society has put on me, and that I've put on myself. But it doesn't define me. It doesn't change who God created me to be, it doesn't change how much he loves me, and it doesn't change what he says about me. Simple as that. Why is it so hard to remember that?

For a long time, I've allowed that label to define who I am and how I see myself. I've bought into the lie that being 25 and single is who I am. I've seen myself as the single one, the one who doesn't fit in with this group or that group, the one that everyone's judging because I'm not married...do I need to go on?

What I've been learning is that singleness is a chapter and not a label. And it's a chapter that, for the first time in a long time, I can say I'm ok living in.  We all go through chapters of life, some that we enjoy, some that we don't. In each of those chapters, two things hold true: 1) God has a unique set of plans for each of us that can only be accomplished in that chapter, 2) Satan wants to leave us miserable and ineffective where we are.

It's easy for me to say this to other people, it's harder for me to know it (and believe it) in my own life. But I've begun to realize over the last few weeks that God has given me a unique set of circumstances and opportunities that are only available in a chapter of singleness. God has blessed me immensely in allowing me to work with an incredible group of girls in the youth group. They keep me on my toes and they provide constant accountability in making sure I'm living out through actions what I'm teaching them in words.

The more I work with them, the more I realize how different my influence on them would be if I wasn't single during this chapter of life. Being married comes with its own unique circumstances, challenges, and time commitments. I don't have a lot of those time commitments right now because I am single. That allows me more time and freedom to pour into these girls that God has placed in my life. Having those time commitments certainly isn't a bad thing, they're just different than the chapter I'm in right now, just like being married comes with different time commitments than those a married couple with young kids has .

I didn't always see this chapter as a blessing or something that I wanted to continue living in. For a long time, I allowed Satan to leave me miserable and ineffective in this chapter. There were a lot of days that I woke up miserable and unhappy in this chapter, constantly wondering WHY God had me here.  Why did I have to be 25 and single? Why was everyone around me married, or engaged, or having babies?  Why? Why? Why? There were days that I completely ignored the blessings of God in my life simply because I chose to allow a circumstance to become a label that defined who I was instead of living in the chapter God had me in.

I'm learning to take it a day at a time and I'm learning to see this chapter as a blessing and an opportunity. Do I still want to be in a relationship? Yes. Do I still anxiously await the day that this chapter of singleness is over? Yes definitely. But what I want more than that is to live where God has me right now. To be effective , to live out the plans that God has for me here, where he has me today. I want to be an example to the girls that God has placed in my life. I want them to know that its OK to be single. It's ok to embrace this chapter of life and to understand that God has unique plans for them that they can only accomplish where he has them today.

And it's not just true for them. It's true for each and every one of us. I don't know what chapter of life God has you in right now. I don’t know if you're loving it or hating it. What I do know is that God has you there for a reason. He wants to use you where he has you planted. Some days, that might not be easy but believe me, he wants to see you accomplish those plans in HIS strength. He doesn't ask you to do it alone, I promise. He is right there with you, waiting for you to turn to him, to embrace the full life that he has for you, and to stop allowing a chapter to become a label.

The thing about chapters is this- they always have an ending. Some chapters are much longer than others but the pages continue to turn, life continues to move forward, and chapters end. At times we experience happiness at the end of chapters, other times we experience sorrow.  I don’t know how long God will have you in this chapter, I don't know how long he will have me in this chapter of singleness. But I trust him. I trust that he will lead when I have no idea what direction to walk. I trust that he will use me where he has me planted if I allow myself to focus on him. I know that he is a good God. He is a God that loved me enough to send his son to die on a cross for me and I know that he doesn't withhold any good thing from His children. Sometimes the circumstances of a chapter may cause me to question this, but it does not change who God is.

There will be days that it's not easy in this chapter, days that I certainly don't enjoy it, but I will trust God. I trust that as long as he has me in this chapter, he will have a plan for me here. I don't have to do it alone, I don’t have to figure it all out. And I certainly don't have to allow circumstances or chapters to become labels that make me question who God says I am. You don’t have to either!

I'm begging you sweet friends, know this- God says that YOU ARE HIS. He loves you and he knows you. He created you and he knows the number of hairs on your head. Never once did he intend for a chapter to become a label that defines who you are. That is a lie from Satan. You are His. He will ask you to walk through countless chapters of life as you take steps toward eternity with him but never once will he say that those chapters define who you are. Don't forget that, don't let the circumstances of your day make you question the plans he has for you. No matter how long the chapter,  You are His.

Grace And Forgiveness In A Body Of Believers.

*Let me start with a disclaimer...this post is for me. It's something I'm dealing with and learning in my own life right now. If you read it and at any point think, "she's talking about me," I'm not. If God uses something I say to speak to you, that's Him not me.  I'm also talking about relationships WITHIN the body of Christ here. I'm NOT talking about relationships with unbelievers, I believe those are different and at times, there has to a separation from those relationships, I believe we are called to live differently with believers. Now that we're all clear on that point...here we go.

Do you know that relationships are hard? Do you know that sometimes I struggle with seeing people through God's eyes instead of my imperfect sinful eyes? Do you know that there are people that I have a hard time getting along with or even caring about at times for a number of different reasons? Do you know that sometimes I fail miserably at loving people like I've been called to? Do you know that I want to be different, that I want to change all those short comings and be a person that loves the way God created her to love?

The older I get, the more I realize that we are all extremely imperfect people. We all fail, we all make mistakes, we all mess up and hurt people around us at times. And sometimes we forget that we're called to love despite the failures.  Sometimes the ones we hurt are those closest to us. Sometimes they're our brothers and sisters in Christ, they are the body of Christ and unfortunately at times, they're the people we hurt the worst. What I'm learning (or maybe just being reminded of) is this...division in the body does not glorify God.

I often wonder why there's so much division and hurt between the people of God at times. I wonder why the very people who claim to be different, who claim to be reflections of Christ spend more time hurting each other than they do living out the love of the gospel. And the only answer I can come up with is this- there is division between believers because as believers, we are failing to live out the very foundation of the gospel- grace and forgiveness.

If there's one thing I know for sure it’s this, I am a sinner who did not and will not ever deserve the grace and forgiveness that God gave me when he sent his son to die on the cross. But for some reason, defying all logic and human understanding, he chose to send his son anyway. And it wasn't just for me. It was for me, it was for you, it was for every single person that will ever have breath in their lungs.

When I chose to be a follower of Christ, when I made that decision to accept the sacrifice that was made for me, I made a decision to live differently. I made a decision to work each day to look more and more like Christ to those around me. Do I fail? Frequently. Will I ever have it all together and be where I should be? Never in this life. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't do everything I can to live differently.

I think one of the biggest steps I have to take to live a life that reflects God, is to love his people the way he loves me. I have to be willing to offer grace and forgiveness to those around me, even when I don't think they deserve it. If I don't love my brothers and sisters in Christ how on earth will I EVER reflect the love of God to a lost and dying world that  doesn’t know him? The truth is I won't. If the body of Christ is fighting against itself it's completely incapable of carrying out the great commission to carry the gospel to the ends of the earth. End of story.

If I'm being honest with you, I can say this, there are people that I don't necessarily like. There are people that I think have done things that are unforgivable and there are people that I think my life's better without. There are people that have said things against me, people who have ignored me, people that have done things to deliberately hurt or undermine me, but what God's been teaching me now for months is this...regardless of what those people have done, no one has crucified me on a cross for my sins. Nothing that anyone has done to me, or will ever do to me, comes close to the crucifixion Jesus faced, and somehow he still managed to offer grace and forgiveness to a group of people that would never deserve it. 

I think that's what it really comes down to. Jesus got what he didn’t deserve. He took the punishment for my sins when he didn’t have to. That’s a sacrifice and a gift of grace and forgiveness that I base my entire foundation of faith and my life on. But somewhere along the way, I started acting like that grace and forgiveness was only for me. I've treated members of the body like they didn't deserve that same grace and forgiveness, simply because I wasn’t living a life that reflects the Savior.

God has used recent situations and strained relationships to teach me just how far off I am and how much work I still have to do. I have heard him whisper, "This does not glorify me." I know in the depths of who I am that division in the body does not reflect the life God called us to. Never once did Jesus tell us we could offer grace and forgiveness to the people we felt deserved it. Yet when I choose to withhold grace and forgiveness, I allow satan to have a foothold in the body. I allow him to win. I allow him to leave me broken and ineffective. That's what he wants. He wants me to live continually   focusing on my hurt and he wants to leave me weary and unsure of relationships with anyone. 

When I allow hate, anger, resentment, hard feelings, etc. to grow between myself and other believers, I  look no different from the world. I also leave unbelievers wondering why they would even want  what I have. Why would anyone want to be a part of something that tears down and hurts its own members?

Let me say it again, nothing about division between believers glorifies God. When there is unforgivness in the body, it stands in direct opposition to the truth of the gospel. It destroys lives and it leaves people hurting. Is it a problem that will ever be completely resolved? I don't think so. In theory, it would be easy. We would all get along, we would all build each other up, we would all live out the command to love our neighbor as ourselves and we would all function as a unified body of believers reflecting Christ love. But I'm afraid that will never be complete realty.

As much as we may strive to reach that goal, we are all still sinners. By our very nature, we will never be able to completely reflect Christ in his perfect sinless nature. We will always fail. There will always be times when I hurt people around me and when they hurt me. But that’s where grace comes in. At some point I have to be willing to offer forgiveness even when people don't deserve it.  I've got to start somewhere. I've got to start trying to be different. I've got to start seeing people through God's eyes, especially fellow believers, and I've got to start letting people off the hook for hurts.

I know that won't be easy. Please don’t think I'm saying it will. I know that at times, grace and forgiveness will be the last thing on my mind but I truly honestly feel that it is never in God's plan for there to be division among believers.  Yes there will be times when I don't see eye to eye with people. Yes, there will be times when people have to hold me accountable for my actions and I don't like it. Yes there will be times when I have to distance myself from people, but I think God's ultimate goal is always restoration of relationships within the body so that HE might be glorified and reflected to a lost and dying world.

Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not saying we have to have a close relationship with every person, I don’t think that's what God is calling us to. Jesus surrounded himself with a small group of people and I think it's important that we each have a close circle of people in our lives that pour into us and hold us accountable for our actions. But while living in and doing life with that close circle, I think we also have to be willing to have relationships with other believers, living in a unified body that says, "I forgive you no matter what."

Because ultimately that's what Jesus said. He placed himself on a cross and he said, "even though you won't ever deserve this, I'm still choosing to offer my grace and forgiveness. " I know there are relationships in my life that need restoration. I know that there are believers that God is calling me to "let off the hook" for wrongs. I know it and I want to do it. It is not easy, and sometimes it goes against every part of my nature. But at some point, I have to decide that living in a unified body of believers that reflects the grace and forgiveness of Christ while carrying the gospel to a lost and dying world is more important than my own personal feelings. And sometimes that's hard because of my own selfishness...and that's a topic for another post. 

One Year Later.

A year ago my life changed forever. A year ago, what seemed to be a normal evening turned into a night that I will never forget, not because of anything I did, but because we serve a God who has mighty plans and who chooses to use his people where he has them planted.

 

A year ago, I was at a candidate forum to support my grandpa who was running for a second term as county commissioner. I was back at the community center in my hometown and had jokingly made the comment to my mom about the "joys" of living close to home again and being able to attend events like this.

 

Several minutes into the forum, a gentleman went into cardiac arrest. In those first few seconds, it takes your brain some time to realize what's happening. People quickly began yelling for a doctor or nurse but it didn't appear that there were any in the room. One thing that sticks out in my mind about those first few moments is the look my mom gave me. It was a look that said "you have to do something" with no words at all.

 

And that's where God began to work. If you know anything about me, you know I'm a physical therapist. My daily job duties don't typically include emergency situations but by the grace of God I had learned CPR in PT School.

 

I honestly don't remember deciding to get up and help, as soon as I saw my mom's look, my body was already moving. I soon realized, beginning CPR was the only option in the situation and despite the fear running through my body, somehow that training took over.

 

Thankfully the volunteer fire department arrived on the scene after what seemed like hours of CPR  and had the gentleman talking before he left for the hospital.

 

I don't like to tell this story very often because I don't like the attention that it sometimes brings. I wanted to share it on the blog with you all today for a few reasons 1) because you have so graciously allowed me to be open and honest without fear of judgement since beginning this blog and most importantly 2) I wanted to share with you what GOD did that night.

 

You see, God didn't leave me to initiate CPR on my own until the fire department arrived. As he so often does for us, he provided me with two other people right there with me, to carry the load, and to help perform the CPR. Those two people, Katie and Ken played as much of a role in that night as I did and I will never be able to thank them enough for what they did to help.

 

Isn't that amazing? One of the most beautiful things about this life is that God doesn't require us to go at it alone. He ALWAYS places people in our lives at the exact right moment to carry the burden and ease the load. He definitely did that for me that night and has continued to work out a new friendship with Katie these last few months. In something that started so horribly, God has brought a rich blessing of friendship to my life. 

 

God also equipped me with the tools I would need that night. Several months before the candidate forum, the community center had purchased and AED. I am convinced that without that machine, the night would have had a much different ending. Aren't you glad that God provides us with the tools we need for each and every situation we will face in life? Ephesians 6 tells us of the full armor of God. I'm so glad that I don't have to go out into battle empty handed.

 

Looking back another thing I've realized about that night is that God had been preparing me for that exact moment long before I had to start CPR that night. Not only had I taken CPR in PT school, but miraculously that training had come back to me in that moment.

I also looked back over the verses I had read in the days and weeks leading up to that night, and I again saw God's provision in equipping me for one of the most terrifying situations of my life through his own words of strength and provision.

 

Psalm 73:21-24- Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. With Your counsel You will guide me, and afterward receive me in glory (Read 1/23/14)

 

Psalm 116:5-9- Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; Yes our God is compassionate. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and he saved me. Return to your rest, oh my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. I shall walk before the Lord knows the land of the living. (Read 1/25/14)

 

Isaiah 40:13- For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, who says to you, do not fear, I will help you.

 

And then, as if God hadn't already done enough in providing help, providing the tools needed, and preparing me in advance, he went ahead and outdid himself by allowing me the opportunity the next day to meet and get to know the man He had saved that night. When I think back on that night, that's the part that brings me to tears. That's the part that brings me to my knees and causes me to realize how unworthy I am and how good God is. He definitely didn't have to do that, but that's what he does ladies and gentlemen. He is that good, he gives us what we don't deserve, he showers blessings that are beyond what we can comprehend and he uses us in unlikely situations.

 

Like I said earlier, I don't tell this story a lot, mostly because I don't want it to be an example or a story about what I did. I want it to be a story about what God did. And what he wants to do in each of our lives. I know that sometimes the story doesn't always play out like it did that night, people don't always make it but what is true is that God is ALWAYS good. He is ALWAYS in control and he is ALWAYS working.

 

If you don't remember anything else I've said, please remember that. Remember that God is ALWAYS working and he wants to use you where you are. He created you to live a full life and he created you with a purpose that only YOU can fulfill. Don't forget that. Don't let fear or doubt rob you of what God wants to do in and through you in that situation.

 

He is a good and faithful God, I know that for sure. I know that when the situation seems impossible, when life and death are at the door, he is there. He is there, providing the provision for you in the moment, never leaving you or forsaking you, or expecting you to figure it out on your own.

 

I don't know what you're dealing with in your life today and I don't know what God's calling you too, but I do know that He loves you and he wants to use you. He is ready to walk hand in hand with you into whatever situation is before you. Keep your chin up and remember, he just might lead you into a situation that changes your whole life.

 

365 Days And An Unlikely Situation.

I've taken a few weeks off from the blog to enjoy vacation with my best friend and Christmas and New Years with my wonderful family!! It's been a great time of relaxing with friends and family, celebrating God's blessing, reflecting on this past year, and preparing for the new year ahead.

 

I love this time of year and the excitement and anticipation of a new year. It's 365 new days. 365 days worth of life to live. 365 stories to write. I've heard people say time and time again, "a lot can happen in a year." The last few years of my life have been evident of that. Bottom line- God's done a lot in my life these last few years and I can't wait to see what this year holds.

 

Do you get as excited as I do about a new year? Are you anxious at what lies ahead?

 

What I'm convinced of is this- God has big plans. In a world where chaos appears to reign, God is still King. He is a Sovereign God and he continue to work even when we are unable to see it.

 

And for reasons sometimes unknown to me, he wants to use us. For some reason, God wants to use me. Me.  The sinner. And come December 31, 2015 I want to look back on this year knowing that I walked in the path God had for me, that I lived a surrendered life open to his work, and that I was a blessing to those around me.

 

As I began to think of the things I wanted to accomplish this year, the changes I wanted to make, the things I wanted to cut out, the one thing that I came back to time and time again was that I want to be a blessing to every single patient and person that I come into contact with and that I want God to use me.

 

During Sunday school this past week we talked about God using Ezra to lead a group of priests, Levites, singers, and others back to Jerusalem. While Ezra came from a long lineage of priests and he was definitely qualified to share the Word of God, the task ahead wasn’t easy. The people had been in exile for many years and there was a desperate need to reestablish proper worship as the people returned to Jerusalem.

 

What I love about this story however is that the king sent Ezra to lead this group through months of travel with endless amounts of gold and treasures. What the King didn't send was an army or troops to protect the people or the treasure as they made their way home.

 

But in all His goodness, all His working, God used a scribe to transport all that treasure and lead those people safely back to Jerusalem out of exile. A scribe. Not a great warrior. Not a solider. A scribe. An unlikely leader but one that would have a definite impact on the history of God's people.

 

If you're like me, that plants hope in the depths of your life. If God chooses to use a scribe in such an unlikely situation, he can and will use you and I if we allow ourselves to be open to his plans.

 

I don't know what unlikely situations God will put each of us in this year, but I'm convinced that if we allow Him to work in our lives, if we follow His teaching, if we live out his word, he will use us.

 

Will you be open to it? Will you allow Him to work in your life? Will you allow Him to use you in 2015 no matter how unlikely the situation? Please know that  with everything I have, I'm praying you will.