Questions from the heart #1

For some time I had this idea of putting a panel of girls in their 20's and in college together to answer questions that our youth girls had. Questions that maybe they were too embarrassed to ask or questions that were to personal to their hearts to share out loud. When we decided to do a back-to-school sleepover for the girls Friday night, I knew this was the perfect place to do the panel! I had the opportunity to be on the panel with 5 amazing women, all of which had different backgrounds and stories but one common thread in their love for The Lord.

I will NEVER be able to thank Kim, Hayley, Sara, Kristen, and Kacie enough for their truth and honesty to those questions that we had the opportunity to answer. These girls laid their hearts on the line and were willing to be open and vulnerable with the girls all so that God might be glorified and the girls might grow in their own faith. To each one of you I say Thank you!! I don't think any of us realized what we were getting ourselves into.

When the girls arrived, we had each one take a piece of paper and write their questions down for us to answer. Completely anonymous, hopefully completely open and honest. In all my 25-year-old wisdom, I thought "There is no way these 6th-12th grade girls are going to ask "deep" meaningful questions for us to answer." So in case the questions didn’t address the burning topics we wanted them to, we stacked the box with questions that would ensure some heartfelt conversations. Boy was I wrong! I can't even begin to tell you the truth and honesty written on those lines. What I saw was hurts, fears, and breaking hearts in that box of questions.

Because of the depth of questions and limited time, we were unable to cover all the questions that the girls had. As I read the remainder of the questions Saturday afternoon, I knew that we couldn't leave them unanswered. I've been playing around with the idea of a blog for some time and these questions were the push I finally needed to do it. Not so that I can answer all the questions of the world, but so that hopefully I can use my own trials, struggles, and insecurities as an example to others and perhaps God can use his work in my life to bless others.  I certainly can't tackle this on my own. (I think when you see the depth of questions, that will make sense.)

My idea is to answer 10 of the remaining questions here on the blog with the help of "guest bloggers" and panel members. While these questions were written by 6th-12th graders, I think they are questions that are relevant to each of us, no matter what our age. My prayer is that as you read these questions and our responses, that your heart will be blessed. That wounds that you have may be healed by the Father and that through our trials and struggles, you will see the love that God has for YOU!

So here we go… Question #1

Why do we make friends and get so close just for the friendship not to last?

When I was in high school, I had a number of different groups of friends. Sports friends, Church friends, this group of friends, that group of friends, and so on. Each of those groups was different in their own way, and they didn't necessarily all like each other, but I tried to be friends with everyone. There were friends during that time of my life that meant everything to me. Girls that I did everything with and talked about everything with. Girls that knew more about who I was, than my parents did at that time. Girls that no matter how many times we fought over the same boy Monday through Thursday, we'd still spend the night with each other on Friday. When I think back on those friendships, there isn't a single one that's the same today as it was then.

While I don’t see a lot of those girls nowadays, I can guarantee that we aren't who we were then. We grow and we change. Good or bad, sometimes the circumstances of life change or end those friendships.  I think so many times in high school we try to be the person that everyone else wants us to be just so we can fit in or just so we can have friends. At some point in life, we discover who we truly are for the first time and unfortunately, those friendships don't always fit with the "new" you. That's not a bad thing. It just means sometimes the friendships change.

I know for me sometimes, its hard to imagine having people in my life today as such close friends and not having them in that same position tomorrow, but sometimes that's the reality of life. That doesn't mean that we should shy away from getting close to anyone just for fear of them not being a part of our lives someday. God created us to be relational. He created us to have relationship with him and he also created us to have relationship with other people. We see it from the creation of Eve in Genesis all the way through the bible. Even Jesus had a group of 12 that he spent time with and poured into. And remember, he knew that one of those 12 would betray him and that one would deny even knowing him, yet he still felt they were worthy of his time and effort.

I don't think God wants us to go through life with the fear of getting close to anyone just because they may not be there a few years down the road. Sometimes, they aren't meant to be there a few years down the road. Sometimes, they choose not to be there a few years down the road. That doesn't change the value of that friendship during that time in our lives. When I think about that group of girls in high school and how we've all changed, I wish those girls nothing but the best and I so enjoy seeing what's going on in each of their lives, even if I'm not a part of it. We each have our own paths now and for the most part, those paths don't cross on a regular basis, but even if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't change the time I had with each of those girls in my life.

Yes, there were rocky times. Yes, there were times when we fought, we didn't get along, and we didn't necessarily like each other. There were times when I chose my path and they chose theirs. But we made it work and we helped each other through that time in our lives. We had our problems and issues, but I can't imagine going through that chapter of my life without anyone else. The truth is, I wasn't meant to. God put each of those girls in my life at that season. He has chosen to put other people in my life a this season. Just because those same high school friends aren't in my life now doesn't mean that they weren't in my life for a reason and that those friendships mean any less to me than others now.

So I'll say this- thank God for the friendships that you have now and the people in your life now. Trust him in the fact that there is a reason each of those people are in your life. Maybe they need you more than you need them. Don't miss out on an opportunity to be a blessing to someone just because they might not be there down the road. Trust God that he knows what he is doing and that he will give you the grace and peace to accept whatever is to come at the exact time you need it. Remember he didn't create you to go through this life alone. Don't let your fear of friendships ending cause you to miss out on the blessing of those friendships today.