I won't make a move.

I've been feeling especially uninspired on the blog lately, most likely over thinking every situation in my life in hopes that God would give me something...anything...for a post. But I got nothing. I feel like the last few weeks have been extremely emotional, tough, and draining on our community and on people personally close to me. The hurt and the pain is real and my human mind cannot fathom or make sense of the way things happen at times. For many of us, I think the NCTC tragedy put a lot of things into perspective, I know it did for me. (I've spent a little less time yelling over postseason baseball this week because it just doesn't really seem to matter as much.)

But through everything the last few weeks, God has remained faithful and His love has remained constant. So I've been searching, hoping, thinking, for anything to share on the blog. Any little bit of hope and of truth about God's love that I could somehow put in to words and share with those who are broken and hurting right now. And like I said, I got nothing.

Tonight I had a conversation about being still and waiting, about holding my position, and about taking care of the things I personally needed to take care of; Then I got in my car, plugged in my iPhone expecting for a specific playlist of music to start playing through the car speakers. Instead of the playlist, my phone picked a random song from my music library and for the 500th time in the last month God told me to be still, to wait on Him, to wait for His leading, and not to make a move without His direction.  Through my tears and the words of the song, I knew God was not only affirming a command He had already given me numerous times, but He was leading me to share this post tonight.

"I'll walk beside you as you lead me through still waters for my soul, I place my hope in all You are. And I know you'll guide me to places where there's beauty to behold, there's no other place I'd rather be. I've been down the other road where fear and doubt, they take control, and I won't go there anymore. And I won't make a move without you. I won't make a move without you right by my side. So I will wait for you to lead me to any place where you need, I won't make a move without you."

For months God has laid Exodus 14:14 on my heart over and over and over again. (I even read it in a novel earlier today) I have thought about that scripture and I have prayed that scripture over my life and over the lives of other people and I have clung to it, knowing that God was telling me to be still in numerous situations in my life. And then life happens and I get caught up in the moment, I get caught up in the hurt and the pain and the injustices going on around me and I want to run headstrong into battle, never even remembering God's command to stay still, to stand firm, and wait where I am. 

I think so often this is our response. Life happens, things don't go the way we have planned, people who we thought cared about us stab us in the back, parents split up, kids fail, people make mistakes, we miss out on a promotion at work, and the list goes on; Suddenly we think we have to fix everything in life and we never even stop to acknowledge the work that God is doing around us.

What I love about this passage in Exodus is that God was about to take what seemed like and impossible situation and He was getting ready to do something huge in the lives of the Israelites. He had just brought them out of Egypt, out of Pharaoh's hand, and out of slavery but immediately they begin to question His works. In the midst of their complaining and their crying out against God, Moses did not hesitate- "Do NOT be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The Lord will fight you; you need only to be still." God was getting ready to dump the entire Egyptian army into the sea so that His name would be glorified and so that the Israelites would see deliverance from His hand yet they were ready to run back up the hill towards the approaching army and surrender themselves as slaves. Part of me can't understand how they could be so stupid. Another part of me is embarrassed to admit my own unwillingness to wait on God, to be still, and to allow Him to work in and through my life.

Situation after situation in life has taught me that things don't always go my way. They don't always work out the way I want them to or when I want them to (hence not being married at age 25) but that does NOT negate the work of God in my life or the lives of those around me. To the Israelites, death or slavery seemed imminent but what they couldn't see was the hand of God working in their lives. All they had to do was wait and they were about to get a first hand encounter  of the power and work of almighty God in their lives, to preserve their lives.

I don’t know what's going on in your life. I don’t know what situations seem hopeless. I don't know where fear, and hurt, and pain has set in, but God does! Praise Jesus! He knows and He cares and He's working. His word  tells us that He will NOT abandon the works of His hands. He did not bring you to this situation to leave you there any more than He brought the Israelites to the desert to abandon them at the shores of the sea. He is working and He is fighting for you so that His name may be glorified and so that He can draw you to Him. I don't know what he's trying to teach you or reveal to you through all this, but I know what He's telling me in my life right now and that's to BE STILL. He's telling me to take a deep breath, to quiet my spirit, to focus my eyes on Him and to trust that even in the most hopeless of situations, He is hope, and NOTHING is out of His control.

Tonight, I am resting in the hope that comes from faith in my Savior. A faith that says "No matter what...I will go where you lead and I will not make a move until you tell me." I will trust in the work of the Father and I will rest in the fact that the battle is not mine. Maybe God is telling some of you tonight to be still. Maybe you're like me and you've gotten so caught up in the things going on around you that you have ignored the Holy Spirit's command in your life to be still. God has given me passions and desires, people and situations, dreams and causes, that I am ready to run into battle for but it has to be in His timing, and tonight  He is telling me to Be Still. The thing is, just because He's telling me to Be Still tonight does not mean that I've abandoned the battle or the passions that He's placed on my life. But right now, I have to be obedient and I have to Be Still. I have to trust that the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, creator of the Universe is a much much better warrior than I am. I have to trust that He is working even when I can't see it, even when the pain, hurt, brokenness, and sin seems to be running rampant in the situation, HE IS STILL WORKING.

He has not forgotten about you friends. He has not called you to stand still in the battle to allow it to over take you. No matter what you're going through tonight, He has not abandoned you in the middle of the desert. Maybe, just maybe, He's getting ready to part the seas in your life and lead you across dry ground. Don't give up. Don't listen to the lies of the evil one, and don't run back up the hill towards the chains of slavery in your life. BE STILL. And don't make a move until he tells you to.