Choices.

Every day I have a choice. I have a choice to follow the path that God has for me or I have a choice not to. Sometimes he's calling me to go, sometimes he's calling me to stay. Sometimes the decision is big, sometimes the decision is small. Sometimes the decision is scary, sometimes it's not. No matter what, I have a decision to obey or not. No one can make the decision for me as much as they may want to. The truth of the matter is that it's my decision and no one else's.

What I've learned more and more over the last year however is that every decision has a consequence. Good or bad, big or little, every single decision we make has a consequences that in most cases affects more people than just ourselves. I think so often when making decisions we think that our choices only affect us. If I choose to do A then B will happen. I don't think about C and D happening to the people around me as a result of my decision. If we admit it, I think we can all agree that by human nature we're all very selfish people and we often make decisions that only look out for number one. We often give very little thought to how our choices can affect those around us. I know that I'm so guilty of that.

What God has been revealing to me recently however is that when I choose not to follow the path that he has put before, I become a stumbling block for those around me. If he says go and I decide to stay I put myself somewhere I don't need to be, and I become a stumbling block. If he says be quiet and I choose to speak, I say something I shouldn't, and I become a stumbling block. If he says give and I choose not to, I use my resources to build up myself, and I become  a stumbling block. Whatever it is, big or small, if I make a decision not to follow the command that he has given me, often my decision becomes a hindrance to those around me.

Maybe you're thinking to yourself, that the "thing" in your life that your choosing to disobey God on right now only affects you, that there's no possible way that decision could have an impact on any one else. I used to think like that too. But life and circumstances recently have taught me otherwise.

Each day, I want me life to be a reflection of Christ. My thoughts, my words, my actions, everything. I want everything that I do to be an example of my faith in the Savior. I want the decisions I make to be out of my complete trust in the Father and his plans. That is not easy. I'll be the first to admit that. Recently, it's been financial decisions and its been a constant battle within me whether I'm going to trust God 100% with my finances or whether I'm just going to trust him a little. (By the way- just trusting a little and trying to do the rest on my own is a decision NOT to trust. I'm working on it.)

But here's what I've realized- I can't tell people around me to trust God no matter what, to have faith that he has a plan for them and that he will walk the path along side them, if I'm not willing to live that example out in my own life.  If I can't make a decision of faith to follow wherever he leads, I can't ask anyone else to. Because what happens if I tell you "Just trust God and make that life changing decision he's calling you to. I'm just going to stay over here and not go where he's leading me," you're going to think I'm a hypocrite. I'm going to become a stumbling block because I'm certainly not being a picture of faith in that situation.

I know that sometimes God calls us to paths and plans that weren't necessarily our first choice. I know that in my own life, I wouldn't necessarily have chosen singleness at 25 but I'm learning each day to trust that and to walk in that path. I'm learning to choose joy in that situation and I'm learning that God really does know better. I also know that when I make the choice to grumble and complain about this season of life (like I did for a really long time), I'm not making a decision of faith to follow wherever he leads. I'm also removing any witness I had  to those around me in regards to choosing to follow Christ no matter what.

Yesterday in bible study we talked about Jesus' prayer in the garden hours before his death. We talked about the fact that in that moment, he continued to praise God and reflect on God's greatness and on God's plan. Earlier in  John 12:27-28 Jesus says, "Now My soul had become troubled; and what shall I say, Father, save me from this hour? But for this purpose I came to this hour. Father glorify your name." Then a voice came out of heaven: "I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again."

Jesus gave us a beautiful example in those last few hours of his life of following God wherever he leads, even if it's to death. He gave us an example and hope that in the darkest of situations, we can still choose to follow God. We can still choose faith. We can still choose to glorify the name of the Father. If Jesus can choose to walk the path that he knew would lead to his death, I can choose to walk the path before me.  I would argue that Jesus' choice to follow the Father's plan may have been the most important choice in the history of the world. Had He chosen in that moment, to go His own may, to skip the beatings, the mockings, and the crucifixion, all of mankind would be doomed to eternal separation from the Father. Talk about a stumbling block in someone's path to God. But Jesus made the choice of Faith. He certainly didn't have to. At any moment, he could have chosen to take himself down from the cross, yet he kept himself there so that we could spend eternity with Him.

Now I don't think God has called any of us to death on a cross but as believers he has called us to a life of Faith no matter what. A life that boldly goes where he leads when he leads. A life that glorifies him in the choices and the decisions that we make. He may not be calling you death on a cross, but whatever he's calling you to can have an impact on someone else's salvation. If I choose today to disobey God, to focus my sights on the things of this world, and to remove myself from the plans that he has for me because they're too hard or too uncomfortable or too scary, I'm choosing to make myself a stumbling block that could potentially impact someone else's view of the Father. 

When I was in high school someone said to me, "Do you care more about your own comfort or the eternity of those around you?" Prior to that question being asked, I was choosing to disobey God. I was choosing not to participate in something that he was obviously calling me to because it was uncomfortable. But when that question was asked, I realized that my decision to sit back in my seat was affecting those around me. The cross certainly wasn't a comfortable path for Jesus but he chose to take it anyways so that through faith I could spend eternity with him because he knew that was God's purpose in bringing him to that hour.

I don't know what choice God is calling you to today. Maybe he's telling you to give more than you think you can give. Maybe he's telling you to say something you don't think you can say. Maybe he's telling you that you need to go somewhere you don't think you can go. Maybe he's telling you to give up that job you love and focus on something else. I don't know what decision he's asking you to make. That's between you and him. But please remember, whether you decide to walk the path he's leading you down, you decide to disobey, or you decide to ignore the still small voice telling you to take the path, you are making a choice. Your decisions will have an impact on those around you whether you realize it or not. Your choice will either point someone to the Savior or your choice will be a stumbling block in someone's path to the Savior.

I don't know about you, but at the end of my life, I don't want to have to stand before the Father and recount the times that I placed myself in someone else's path to Him because of my own selfishness, my own comfort, and my own security. Because every day I have a choice just like Jesus did.