*Let me start with a disclaimer...this post is for me.
It's something I'm dealing with and learning in my own life right now. If you
read it and at any point think, "she's talking about me," I'm not. If
God uses something I say to speak to you, that's Him not me. I'm also talking about relationships WITHIN
the body of Christ here. I'm NOT talking about relationships with unbelievers,
I believe those are different and at times, there has to a separation from
those relationships, I believe we are called to live differently with
believers. Now that we're all clear on that point...here we go.
Do you know that
relationships are hard? Do you know that sometimes I struggle with seeing
people through God's eyes instead of my imperfect sinful eyes? Do you know that
there are people that I have a hard time getting along with or even caring
about at times for a number of different reasons? Do you know that sometimes I
fail miserably at loving people like I've been called to? Do you know that I
want to be different, that I want to change all those short comings and be a
person that loves the way God created her to love?
The older I get, the
more I realize that we are all extremely imperfect people. We all fail, we all
make mistakes, we all mess up and hurt people around us at times. And sometimes
we forget that we're called to love despite the failures. Sometimes the ones we hurt are those closest
to us. Sometimes they're our brothers and sisters in Christ, they are the body
of Christ and unfortunately at times, they're the people we hurt the worst.
What I'm learning (or maybe just being reminded of) is this...division in the
body does not glorify God.
I often wonder why
there's so much division and hurt between the people of God at times. I wonder
why the very people who claim to be different, who claim to be reflections of
Christ spend more time hurting each other than they do living out the love of the
gospel. And the only answer I can come up with is this- there is division
between believers because as believers, we are failing to live out the very
foundation of the gospel- grace and forgiveness.
If there's one thing
I know for sure it’s this, I am a sinner who did not and will not ever deserve
the grace and forgiveness that God gave me when he sent his son to die on the
cross. But for some reason, defying all logic and human understanding, he chose
to send his son anyway. And it wasn't just for me. It was for me, it was for
you, it was for every single person that will ever have breath in their lungs.
When I chose to be a
follower of Christ, when I made that decision to accept the sacrifice that was
made for me, I made a decision to live differently. I made a decision to work
each day to look more and more like Christ to those around me. Do I fail? Frequently.
Will I ever have it all together and be where I should be? Never in this life.
But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't do everything I can to live differently.
I think one of the
biggest steps I have to take to live a life that reflects God, is to love his
people the way he loves me. I have to be willing to offer grace and forgiveness
to those around me, even when I don't think they deserve it. If I don't love my
brothers and sisters in Christ how on earth will I EVER reflect the love of God
to a lost and dying world that doesn’t
know him? The truth is I won't. If the body of Christ is fighting against
itself it's completely incapable of carrying out the great commission to carry
the gospel to the ends of the earth. End of story.
If I'm being honest
with you, I can say this, there are people that I don't necessarily like. There
are people that I think have done things that are unforgivable and there are
people that I think my life's better without. There are people that have said
things against me, people who have ignored me, people that have done things to
deliberately hurt or undermine me, but what God's been teaching me now for
months is this...regardless of what those people have done, no one has
crucified me on a cross for my sins. Nothing that anyone has done to me, or
will ever do to me, comes close to the crucifixion Jesus faced, and somehow he
still managed to offer grace and forgiveness to a group of people that would
never deserve it.
I think that's what
it really comes down to. Jesus got what he didn’t deserve. He took the
punishment for my sins when he didn’t have to. That’s a sacrifice and a gift of
grace and forgiveness that I base my entire foundation of faith and my life on.
But somewhere along the way, I started acting like that grace and forgiveness
was only for me. I've treated members of the body like they didn't deserve that
same grace and forgiveness, simply because I wasn’t living a life that reflects
the Savior.
God has used recent
situations and strained relationships to teach me just how far off I am and how
much work I still have to do. I have heard him whisper, "This does not
glorify me." I know in the depths of who I am that division in the body does
not reflect the life God called us to. Never once did Jesus tell us we could
offer grace and forgiveness to the people we felt deserved it. Yet when I
choose to withhold grace and forgiveness, I allow satan to have a foothold in
the body. I allow him to win. I allow him to leave me broken and ineffective. That's what he wants. He wants me to live continually focusing on my hurt and he wants to leave me weary and unsure of relationships with anyone.
When I allow hate,
anger, resentment, hard feelings, etc. to grow between myself and other
believers, I look no different from the
world. I also leave unbelievers wondering why they would even want what I have. Why would anyone want to be a
part of something that tears down and hurts its own members?
Let me say it again,
nothing about division between believers glorifies God. When there is
unforgivness in the body, it stands in direct opposition to the truth of the
gospel. It destroys lives and it leaves people hurting. Is it a problem that
will ever be completely resolved? I don't think so. In theory, it would be
easy. We would all get along, we would all build each other up, we would all
live out the command to love our neighbor as ourselves and we would all
function as a unified body of believers reflecting Christ love. But I'm afraid
that will never be complete realty.
As much as we may
strive to reach that goal, we are all still sinners. By our very nature, we
will never be able to completely reflect Christ in his perfect sinless nature.
We will always fail. There will always be times when I hurt people around me
and when they hurt me. But that’s where grace comes in. At some point I have to
be willing to offer forgiveness even when people don't deserve it. I've got to start somewhere. I've got to
start trying to be different. I've got to start seeing people through God's
eyes, especially fellow believers, and I've got to start letting people off the
hook for hurts.
I know that won't be
easy. Please don’t think I'm saying it will. I know that at times, grace and
forgiveness will be the last thing on my mind but I truly honestly feel that it
is never in God's plan for there to be division among believers. Yes there will be times when I don't see eye
to eye with people. Yes, there will be times when people have to hold me
accountable for my actions and I don't like it. Yes there will be times when I
have to distance myself from people, but I think God's ultimate goal is always
restoration of relationships within the body so that HE might be glorified and
reflected to a lost and dying world.
Don't get me wrong,
I am certainly not saying we have to have a close relationship with every
person, I don’t think that's what God is calling us to. Jesus surrounded
himself with a small group of people and I think it's important that we each
have a close circle of people in our lives that pour into us and hold us
accountable for our actions. But while living in and doing life with that close
circle, I think we also have to be willing to have relationships with other
believers, living in a unified body that says, "I forgive you no matter
what."
Because ultimately
that's what Jesus said. He placed himself on a cross and he said, "even
though you won't ever deserve this, I'm still choosing to offer my grace and
forgiveness. " I know there are relationships in my life that need
restoration. I know that there are believers that God is calling me to
"let off the hook" for wrongs. I know it and I want to do it. It is
not easy, and sometimes it goes against every part of my nature. But at some
point, I have to decide that living in a unified body of believers that
reflects the grace and forgiveness of Christ while carrying the gospel to a
lost and dying world is more important than my own personal feelings. And
sometimes that's hard because of my own selfishness...and that's a topic for
another post.
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